When someone meets our little family they usually tell us

how much Avery looks like Brandon. 

They love to point out that they have the same cheeks and face shape. 

This doesn't bother me.

I think Brandon was a very cute baby so I take it as a compliment.

To be honest most days I look at her at the think the same thing. 

I completely recognize that if it weren't for the blonde hair and blue eyes

it would probably look like I wasn't involved in the process at all.

But every once in a while she'll make a face and i'll see a little of me in there.

Its usually when she's being silly or doing something she knows she shouldn't do.

But nevertheless it happens. 

Today was one of those days where I caught the tiniest glimpse of myself in my sweet girl.

Those moments are few a far between,

 but when they happen I can't help but wonder what other traits will she have of mine?

Will she have small hands and feet?

Will she love to dance and sing?

Will she have a loud slightly annoying laugh?

Each day I feel like I learn something new about her.

Things she likes and doesn't like.

Its kinda like we're still getting to know one another. 

one

Is this little girl seriously turning 1 tomorrow!!!!

The presents are wrapped,

the cake is baked, 

now all we need is a birthday girl.

ps) my heart is aching with sadness over losing my baby girl, 

but at the same time its bursting with excitement for the new adventures that await us. 

I guess that's parenthood for ya.

two years

 Well today is our two year anniversary!

Can you believe it? I can't.

Two years ago today I woke up ready to party. 

I remember thinking that every minute seemed to go by so slowly.

I just wanted to be married to Brandon, 

and all those other wedding details

 i'd stressed and stressed about for months didn't matter. 

One of my favorite parts of the day,

there were quite a few,

was when I was waiting in the bride's room before we were sealed. 

 I was telling all the temple workers about where Brandon and I met and how he proposed, 

I wasn't nervous at all,

and then this cute little lady came in and told me 

that a very handsome groom was 

ready for his bride. 

Well I got so excited that I stood up and exclaimed 

"Oh that's me, he's waiting for me. I'm his bride!"

They all laughed and sent me on my way to become a mrs.  

I loved that day. 

Not because it was perfect and flawless,

but because I just felt so happy and peaceful.

Lucky for me I still feel that way.

 Life is so good with BM by my side.

ps) Last year I went into labor on our anniversary,

sooooo this years celebrations were much less exciting...and painful.

We spent the day in San Francisco eating and people watching.

ahhh the perfect day!

toys

Its all fun and games til someone takes her toy away!

ps) she's cute even when she's throwing a little tantrum.

pps) She's turning 1 next week and my heart can hardly handle it.

Dear Time, 

I sorta don't love you these days.

When I was pregnant I begged you to go by quickly, but now i've changed my mind.

Please slow down. Pretty please.

Love,

a mom who's not ready for her babe to grow up

pool

If you call us and we don't answer.....

its probably because we're at the pool.

Avery is definitely turning into a California girl.

She loves the pool and the sun. 

And so do we.  

Yep, its a hard life, but somebody's gotta do it.!